The thing is, you never quite learned how to break down the walls you’ve built around yourself without keeping pieces of them as reminders. You are stuffing your pockets with bricks and stones that carry names and dates and faces and how it feels to kiss someone you love and that one time your heart hurt so much you wanted to pull it out of your chest and you are wondering why you are still drowning.
You can’t expect yourself to grow taller with ruins weighing you down. You will never reach the surface with shackles around your feet pulling to the ocean floor. You’d rather have your body suspended in limbo than to feel the cold rush of life. You are scared of feeling too much and you are scared of not feeling at all.
You are prepared to build your walls back up again before you let anyone close enough to love you but you cannot trap yourself behind walls and wonder why you don’t see the sun anymore. Get rid of all the things you shouldn’t have kept around in the first place. Throw them off a rooftop and scream at the top of your lungs. Go back home and learn to love someone new, but learn to love yourself first.
'I think grief is just a period of time it takes for your brain to accept that someone’s gone. It takes everything in your body, your mind, your entire being just keeps bringing back to the moment they’re still alive. It takes a long time for your body to let go of that.'
'That's exactly what it is.'
'It's the hardest thing of all. To let go of someone you love.'